In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I CAN MOONWALK!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
