I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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