I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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