a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
