I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
