And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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