he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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