Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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