She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
