have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
