You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
