Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
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