it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
