oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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