i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
