It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
