Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
