is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Randomize
