lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
