You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
