i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
