that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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