Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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