Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
