Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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