Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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