ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't deserve a penis
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
