If i come over, it means nothing
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
