I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
this just has baby written all over it
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
