this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
