Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
