Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
