just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
