i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
