spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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