Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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