i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
