I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
