so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
