i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
