Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I know her cup size but not her name....
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
