No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I want a musical about memes.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
