she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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