My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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