I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
