DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We were destined to go to rehab together
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
