Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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