I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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