Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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