It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
