gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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