He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
where are my eyebrows?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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