I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
